Crash Course
by FattySkeleton
Summary: The sub for Mis.Bitters class is very unattached, but between expolsions, high speed spaceship chases, alien rulers deciding the fate of your planet and teaching elementery can anyone stay emotionally lukewarm? And whats that about her student? OCxSkoodge
1. Lesson one

I don't like people.

I don't hate people, nor do I have a disgust of people, there is simply a lack of like of them.

I don't try to keep them away, or go out of my way to avoid them, I just have no urge to be in their company, I don't seek them out, nor do I take an interest in them. They're like the color of the school bathroom tiles, no matter what they look like you don't care.

People are like that to me. They're just something there, something that needs to be there but you could live with out it. Something that you'll leave behind and will never ever think of again.

I still view most people like this. I don't hate them, I don't pity them, and they don't disgust me. This is kind of funny if you think about it, because I know that almost every human on earth would have one of those emotions toward me if they had known what I do with my life.

My alarm clock went off hours earlier then what I would have wanted it to and I wished that I could go back to sleep. But I couldn't. I had a job in the city that would keep me afloat for another few months and I had to be there early.

I couldn't help but lay on my back for a few moments, staring at my ceiling. It was a plain ceiling, and it went with my plain apartment, totally devoid of any personal touch. It looked like I had just moved in even though I had been living here for at least three years.

I couldn't help but be a little depressed about that. I didn't have anything at all. Not in the physical sense, because I did have things like cloths and furniture. But emotionally? I was devoid of almost anything, I had never felt sadness, just self-pity, and the closest I had ever been to anger was annoyance. I was a lukewarm person I suppose.

But that didn't make me not miss something I had never had. I've seen people who were incredibly happy and had wished that I would feel that too. I knew I could but nothing had ever invoked the feeling for me.

I breathed a deep sigh as I finally rolled out of the bubble of self-pity I had created and walked the few feet to my bathroom. The cool floor giving me goose-bumps as I stripped out of my pajamas and underwear. I turned on the shower then stepped back as I let the water warm up. I faced myself in the bathroom mirror and began to critique my figure.

"Hips are bigger then what are wanted for style. Breasts too big even. My stomach clearly shows that I enjoy eating and don't like exercise. My thunder thighs have stretch marks and my legs are too long." I leaned close to the reflective surface, "At least my face no longer breaks out, but my fat cheeks make me look like a less jolly Santa."

I stepped back, done with my critique. I probably looked better than how I saw myself but since I saw my body daily and had felt every single part of it knew every single one of its imperfections. Besides, I had always been more focused on the details instead of the big picture.

I stepped underneath the hot water and reached for one of my vices, coconut peach shampoo. I loved bathroom products like this and I also adored the smell. I slathered more than I should have into my frizzy brown hair. I rinsed my hair without using conditioner and then stood underneath the hot spray for a while.

When the water began to cool from the near blistering tempter that I enjoyed, turned off the water and began to dry off with a towel. I wiped up the water and slid into a gray semi-casual pantsuit. I tied my still wet hair into a tight bun and headed out of the bathroom.

I stopped in my kitchen to grab a granola bar before I slid my purse over my shoulder and walked out of my apartment door. I took a moment to look at the barely risen sun from my floor before going down the stairs to the parking lot.

I slid into my rusty, gray stick shift BMW and gentle turned the ignition key. The engine hiccupped but settled out to a nice purr and soon I was on my way to my job.

The drive was rather uneventful and the roads were surprisingly empty this early in the morning so I easily got to my job at the skool. I parked my car and walked into the building. I walked down the hall to my classroom and opened the door.

The class inside quieted the moment the door opened. I walked inside and there were some gasps of surprise. I walked behind the desk and sat down, not looking at the class before I began digging around in the drawers, looking for a roll call list.

"Hello. My name is Miss Motone, and I will be your substitute teacher for a while, while they try to find you a permanent teacher. Miss. Bitters quit. You may disrespect me all you want but you won't get a rise out of me but you will get a detention. I will stay out of your affairs as long as you don't break any rules and as long as you obey the rules we will have no trouble." I finally found the class list. "I will now call roll call. If you are here give me a verbal response. If you do not answer me then I will mark you down as late. Zita?"

"Here!"

"Keef?"

"Present!"

"The letter M?"

"Yeah."

"Old kid?"

"Hello!"

"Greten?"

"Hu-huru."

"Pig boy?"

"OINK!"

"Dib."

" . . ."

"Is Dib here?"

BANG! "I'm here! I was trying to get the ghost hamsters out of my microwave!"

I looked up at this outburst and saw a very pale Asian boy. He was normal ten year old height with large reflective glasses and a strange hair-cut. He was wearing a black trench coat and a blue shirt. He looked . . . interesting.

I leaned toward him a little and asked him, "Did you succeed?"

You would think I had killed him with the silence that shrouded the room after I said that. But I kept my eyes on the interesting person in front of me. After a minute of silence I repeated my question. "Did you succeed?"

He stumbled out a quiet no and I shook my head a little. "Well, when you do, you're going to tell me how you did it. But in the mean time, unless it is completely necessary, could you show up on time to school?"

He shook his head yes, and stumbled to his seat. I looked at him for a few more seconds. He was acting like no one had ever paided an interest in what he's said before. Shame really, whether or not he is serious he still needs positive enforcement in his life, whether or not he actually deserves it or not.

I looked back to the class list and began to read again.

"Brittney?"

"Y-yes?"

"Sarah?"

"Here."

"Iggins?"

"Huh?"

"Zim?"

"The Great and almighty Zim is here you Filthy teaching drone!" This answer was shrieked at me from the front of my room and I pondered a few moments about what to do. Should I let the kid get away with it? Or should I exercise my authority to give the other kids a warning.

I gently put the class list down and slowly stood up. The chair making an ominous creaking noise. Once at my full height of 6'7 I cast my lukewarm gaze over the class. Most of my students were staring at me but Dib was glaring at a child in the front of the class. A green child.

I calmly walked over to the child and towered over him, using my height as an intimidation factor. "Mr. Human, why is your skin green?"

The blue eyed child glared at me from under his fifties hair. "I have a skin condition, teaching drone!" At his tone I decided to up the threat a little. I took a step back then leaned at the waist till I was eye to eye to him. "Mr. Zim Human, I am you're teacher. I hold a seat of power, even if it is temporary, over you. To make you're time easier, you will call me Miss. Motone, teacher, or just Miss. If you do not calm me by one of the names that I have given you, you will be given a detention. Is that understood Mr. Zim Human."

Zim was very angry, I could tell. But no matter how dangerous he thinks he is, I am still his teacher and he will still have to obey me. I stayed in my position as I waited for an answer. Eventually, Zim made his choice. "It is understood, Teaching Drone." He hissed.

I waited for a beat, before straightening up and walking back to my desk. "Very well then, Mr. Human you will stay after school today for an hour. If you skip without an excuse you will have another detention, but this one will be during lunch, so you can't run away."

I sat back down at my desk and finished up roll call.

"Web-toe kid?"

"Here."

12345790-

I was chaperoning recess when the fight broke out. I had been unwinding a child from the jungle gym when the chanting reached me. I set the now untangled child on the ground and walked briskly to where a group of kids stood in a circle and yelled fight. I broke though the circle and saw Dib and Zim rolling around on the ground, trying to pin the other. I reached down and used all off the strength I had to yank the back of Dib's coat, flinging him away from Zim.

"Boys, if you are going to fight, it's never smart to do it on school grounds. Now both of you be quiet and come with me." I waited for the ten year olds to get off of the ground and dust themselves off. They were glaring at each other but weren't making any moves to attack so I turned back to the class. "Mr. Eliot will be out in five minutes, Zita when he gets here I want you to tell him that I brought Dib and Zim to the nurses' office." Zita shook her head to let me know that she understood and then I led the boys back into the building.

During the walk the boys hissed quietly at one another, and I took the moment to try to get a handle on their relationship. They obviously weren't friends from the way they argued all during class; it was also obvious that they thought they hated each other. Thought. They talked to each other face to face to much for them to hate each other. Real hate is when you don't have anything to do with the other person but try to undermine them. And while these two did undermine the other, they talked too much to truly hate the other.

I also noticed that Zim seemed to do a whole lot of back handed complements without noticing. He would call Dib the most worthy, or the only smart one out of the human race. Which I didn't really get, cause he is human isn't he? But then again, he did lack a nose, ears, lips, and a few fingers. Not to mention he's green.

I came out of my pondering when Dib opened the door to the nurse's office and walked in with Zim Strutting behind him. I followed the boys and went to the nurse's counter. "Excuse me? Where is the first aid kit?" The girl looked up at me in surprise, before reaching underneath the counter and handing me a large white box with a cross on it. I thanked the nurse and walked back to the boys, who were sitting sullenly on some plastic chairs.

I got on my knees in front of Dib so I could reach him better and then asked, "Alright Dib, where did you get hurt?" Dib glared at Zim as he rolled up his coat sleeves. His arms were covered in scar tissue and had a few fresh bite and claw marks on the skin. I began to dab at the slowly bleeding skin as I asked my second question. "What happened?"

While still glaring at Zim, Dib shortly explained, "Zim was going to put a hair pulling machine on my sister Gaz and then blame it on me." I arched an eyebrow as I plastered a Band-Aid on the last cut. I turned toward Zim then.

"Is that what happened, Zim?" Zim nodded his head as he cried, "Yes, the magnificent Zim created such an ingenious device!" At the end of this proclamation Zim was standing on his chair, his fists in the air.

"Where is this device?" At my question Zim deflated, "Eh? Well, the device-"

Dib broke in, "It exploded."

"Ok then, Dib you have a detention because you attacked Zim, and Zim you have another detention because you apparently made a device that would attack another student. Now Zim, where are you hurt?" At the question, whatever Zim was about to yell at me was forced back into his mouth as he ducked the hand I had held out. I once again raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong?"

"My, eh, skin condition, makes many chemicals in normal everyday items toxic so, I have to do it myself." at those flustered words, the green child reached into his backpack and pulled out some bandages, "Besides Dib-stink can't throw a punch hard enough to do more than bruise a little."

After Zim took care of himself, I returned the first Aid kit to the nurse and walked the boys back to the playground. They immediately went to a little girl with purple hair playing a video game. They each stood on either side of her and began arguing; soon the little girl lifted her head and glared at the boys. They clamed up and took a step back in fright. The girl went back to playing and the boys settled for glaring at one another.

"Are you the sub for Miss. Bitter's class?" I looked over my shoulder to see a man around a foot shorter than me with glasses and a smile.

"Yes. Are you Mr. Elliot?" He seemed to grin harder as he stepped beside me. "Why, yes I am! And you are Miss. Motone."

I looked back at the interesting three, and decided to get some background on them. "Those three kids, what do you know about them?"

"Hmm? Those are Gaz, Zim and Dib. Gaz is Dib's younger sister, and she's very scary. She won't hurt a teacher but if she threatens you say that you'll call her father. Dib," He shook his head as he said the boy's name, "Dib's crazy. He believes that there are ghosts, vampires, lockness monsters, and aliens! In fact, he's convinced that Zim's an alien and will take any opportunity to tell you. He's mostly harmless but if you need to calm him down you might need help. Zim's an odd one, and he can be some trouble, but as long as you keep him away from Dib it should be fine."

Mr. Elliot began to prattle on about other nonsense as I digested the new information.

Dib was obviously not crazy. Eccentric? Maybe, but I saw nothing wrong with the boys sanity. I haven't met Gaz yet, but from her reputation she seemed to be a bit of a handful, if the boys' reaction to her angry had anything to say about it. And Zim. Zim was extremely underestimated if people thought that he wouldn't get in trouble if you left him alone. Zim seemed to be the type that would make trouble instead of find it like Dib.

**This is the end of chapter one. Now, people who liked this, please give me a critique. I need to figure out what I'm doing wrong, what I'm doing right and what I'm not doing. Please leave me a review so that I can do well on this story and have it go well.**

**And for the people going, Where's Skoodge? He's not going to be inserted for at least three more chapters. I want to make a base for my oc first.**


	2. Lesson 2

I stretched my tired back as I walked at a seditive pace toward my classroom. I had slept funny and my back was now protesting the mistreatment. The vertabra popping into place as i twisted my shoulders.

I opened the classroom door and raised my eyebrow at the sight of Dib laying in the middle of the floor and Zim and most of the class laughing. It was obvious that something went down, and that since no one had even tried to cover up their laughter, then this happened often. I would have to put a stop to that.

"Dib." I lowered my tone of voice to a point where it was barely recognizable, "Is there a reason why you are on the floor?"

At my inquire Dib stiffened and got to his hands and knees. He looked over his shoulder at me and said in a tired voice, "No, no reason. I just fell."

I reached down and pulled him to his feet, he didn't appear to be in pain. I raised my eyes to the still chorcaling class. "Can anyone tell me what you all did wrong?"

My question shut them up, they looked at me confused. Brittany was the first to answer. "What do you mean, what we did wrong? We didn't do anything wrong."

"Annht! Wrong!" I said loudly, as i walked toward her. I stopped beside her desk and close her in so she would be instictivly threatened. "You laughed. That was your first mistake. You are all not his friends, so you shouldn't have laughed at him. You should have made sure that he was ok." I leaned down more and said in a low voice that i knew that everyone could hear. "Ecspecally since it's obvious that he was tripped. If he had gotten hurt then it would have been my job as a tracher to punish everyone in the class to teach you all a lesson." I pulled back from the suitebly frightened child and walked back toward the front of the room. I turned on my heel and locked my hands behind my back, thrusting my large chest out and said in a low flat voice. "If i see or hear that this has happened again then i will take all of you on a trip to the underground classrooms to meet some of the students. And if there are any repeat offenders then they just might have to transfer down there where more approprite teachers will take care of them."

I sat down at my desk and cast a cold eye over the classroom. Most of my students were looking at me in shock, a few were looking at me in fear, one or two were looking at me in hope and Dib was stareing at me with hero worship.

I began to take roll call.


End file.
